It was number five, wasn't it? Number five: 'Ram's Bladder Cup!' Now what kind of confection is this? We have to protect the public! Now, what was this one? Number five. Hilton: Mock frog?! We use no artificial preservatives or additives of any kind!Ĭonstable: Nevertheless, I advise you to in future to replace the words 'Crunchy Frog' with the legend 'Crunchy, raw, unboned, real, dead frog' if you want to avoid prosecution.Ĭonstable: I don't give a damn about your sales. They're bound to think it's some sort of mock frog. The superintendent thought it was an almond whirl. People aren't going to think there's a real frog in chocolate. Hilton: Well, it says 'Crunchy Frog' quite clearly.Ĭonstable: They'll never mind that. Hilton: If we took the bones out, it wouldn't be crunchy, would it?Ĭonstable: Constable Parrot ate one of those!Ĭonstable Parrot: Would you excuse me for a moment, sir?
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Hilton: We use only the finest baby frogs, dew picked and flown from Iraq, cleansed in the finest quality spring water, lightly killed, and sealed in a succulent Swiss quintuple smooth full cream treble milk chocolate envelope, and lovingly frosted with glucose!Ĭonstable: That's as maybe, but it's still a frog!Ĭonstable: What! Don't even take the bones out? Now this is extremely nasty, but we can't prosecute you for that!Ĭonstable: Next we have number four, 'Crunchy Frog.'Ĭonstable: Am I right in thinking there's a real frog in here? and we'd like to have a word with you about your box of chocolates entitled 'The Whizzo Quality Assortment.'Ĭonstable: If I may begin at the beginning. I'm the urban spaceman, baby, here comes the twistĬonstable: You are sole proprietor and owner of the Whizzo Chocolate Company?Ĭonstable: Constable Parrot and I are from the Hygiene Squad.Ĭonstable. I'm a glossy magazine, an advert on the tube I never let my friends down, I've made a boop I'm the urban spaceman, as a lover second to none, it's a lot of fun I'm the urban spaceman, I'm intelligent and clean, know what I mean My natural exuberance spills out all over the place I wake up every morning with a smile upon my face I'm the urban spaceman, baby, I'm making out, I'm all about I don't need pleasure, I don't feel pain, if you were to knock me down, I'd just get up again I'm the urban spaceman, baby, I couldn't fly, I'm a supersonic guy I'm the urban spaceman, baby, I've got speed, I've got everything I need Well, now it's talent spotting time, ladies and gentlemen, and please see if you can spot any talent in our next competitors? Will you please give a very big hand and a warm welcome to Carl Weetabix and Rita! Karl Marx: Uhuh, the workers' control of means of production? The-the struggle of the urban proletariat?Įric Idle: Uh, no, it was Wolverhampton Wanderers who beat Lester 3-1.Įric Idle: Get out of here! Well, no one leaves this show empty-handed, so we're gonna cut off his hands. Your final question: Who won the English Football Cup in 1949? Well done, Karl! One final question, and that beautiful non-materialistic lounge suite will be yours! Ready, Karl? You're a brave man. The struggle of class against class is a what struggle?Įric Idle: Good! Yes, it is indeed. Karl Marx: The development of the industrial bourgeoisie.Įric Idle: Good! Yes, it is indeed! Well done, Karl! You're on your way to a lounge suite! Now Karl, number two. Well, never mind pal, have a go! The development of the industrial proletariat is conditioned by what other development? Our contestant tonight is Karl Marx and our special prize is this beautiful lounge suite! Uh, Karl has elected to answer questions on workers' control of factories, so here we go with question number one. What's the name of the biggest? Jerry Lee Lewis' solid gold biggie? No?Įric Idle: Yes, it was indeed! Very well challenged. Jerry Lee Lewis has had over 17 major solid gold hits in the U.S. So now with the scores all even, it's on to Round 2, and Lenin, you start at the $10. Coventry City have never won the English Football Cup. Anybody else? Coventry City last won the English Football Cup in what year? No, I'm not surprised you didn't get that. Coventry City last won the English football cup in what year? No? I can throw the question open. 'The Hammers' is the nickname of what English football team? 'The Hammers.' No? Well, bad luck, Karl. And the first question is for you, Karl Marx.
Tonight on World Forum we are deeply privileged to have with us Karl Marx, the founder of modern socialism and author of the 'Communist Manifesto', Vladimir Ilitch Ulyanov, better known to the world as Lenin, leader of the Russian Revolution, writer, statesman, and father of modern socialism, Che Guevara, the Bolivian guerilla leader, and Mao Tse-tung, chairman of the Chinese Communist Party since 1949.
Monty Python Live at the Hollywood Bowl Script Part 2Įric Idle: Good evening.
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